Hey! Look at me, I'm ALIVE! Spooky, I know, but a new acquaintance has prodded me into posting again. I quite like re-reading my earlier brilliance (or lack thereof). Puts a lot of things into perspective, and lets me see how whiny I really am ;)

Right then - new things with me? Oh, let's see...In the last 530+ days, I've been divorced, changed back to my maiden name, been an Auntie twice over (bringing the tally to 14), moved into my own apartment, bought a new laptop, written a TON of fanfiction and other such silliness, bought new furniture, taken several classes, witnessed the epic move to be on their own of my younger bro and sis, been to a family reunion, got dental insurance, and read the final book in the Harry Potter series.

I know, I know - you're all jealous of the excitement that is my life.

Honestly, though - I've been on my own for close to six months now, and I have to admit that I'm enjoying it. It seems as though there isn't as much pressure to get things finished - I can work on my site or my stories from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed, stopping to eat and empty my bladder, and I don't get disapproving stares. That's lovely. Loneliness creeps up every so often, but I spend a lot of time with the 'rents and the sibs, since we're all about 10-15 minutes from each other instead of 45. Well, until the 'rents sell their house and move into their condo nearly an hour from me. But live for the moment now, yeah?

Have come to a realization that what I've wanted since childhood isn't what I want for me at this point in my life - I still want the land and the kids, no doubt, but I want some excitement before then, if at all possible. Considered becoming a roaming web designer, working from my laptop and scouring the countryside, but with the cats, it'd be a bit difficult.

Strokes of brilliance seem to be the order of the past few weeks, since the end of the HP series - fanfiction has been spurned to greater heights, and a new site design fills me with warm fuzzy feelings of pride. Don't get those too often, or for very long. But since I spent 14+ hours on this comp, here it be for those interested: http://www.sevysgal.com/comp.png

The new site will utilize flash (much like JK Rowling's site). And though I'd like to take all the credit for creating the items, I must admit that the parchment paper, the newspaper, and the picture frame were all created using tutorials found on the web for Photoshop; the picture in the frame, the jar on the fireplace, the fireplace, and the bookshelf are all photos of products that I've tweaked to my liking, and the scroll on the desk was found when googling 'parchment'. The inkwell and the desk, however? All mine, baby. There will be a blackboard as well as books and odds and ends for the shelves. If I can teach myself what I need to know (and it's never been a problem before) I'll have it working and up as soon as possible.

Am greatly looking forward to a trip to the UK next month with the 'rents and younger sis. We've been busy planning it - definitely going to try for some HP sites. Maybe we'll see some filming for HBP, but I doubt it.

As to words of wisdom for the day: Never try to jump over a house using a marshmallow. It just doesn't work. Trust me here, people.

*slinks away to lurk for another 18 months*

Sometimes, life just isn't fair. You can't have it all. Yada, yada, yada...

I've come to another crossroads in my life, where I need to decide what's best for me. Land prices in Florida are ridiculously high, barring the easy ammassment of aforementioned land. We looked at ten acres around our house, and it was listed for more than what we paid for our entire house. And that was cheap.

That being said, my dream has always been to live a life like what I was given growing up. We'd have acreage, I'd stay at home and raise the kids, and my mom would be there with me forever. Well...that's not going to happen. At least, not if I stay in Florida. In Ohio, you can get 5 or 10 acres, and a 2000 square foot house for under $150K. But...my mommy's not in Ohio, and I'd be in the same boat I was in two years ago when I suddenly couldn't take missing her anymore.

*sigh* Then there's the option of Mom moving back to Ohio - but that would still leave my brothers, my younger sister, and my dad down here.

Whatever I choose, I'll be giving up something I want. If I stay down here, chances are I will never have land -or- never be a stay at home mom. Then what happens when my younger brother and sister decide to move out and away from Florida? Then my parents will pass on, my older brother and his family will move back to Indiana, and I'm left in a state I don't particularly care for with none of my family. Then again, my parents could live to 100, my siblings could decide not to fly from the nest, and I could hit the lottery (that I don't play). It seems that's the only way my 'dreams' will come true.

Decisions suck. That is why I generally avoid making them.

Right. So I'm just under that four month thing I posted about earlier. It seems to be that with school, I seldom have thoughts. Or maybe it's that I don't have the time to write them down. Or maybe, it's the fact that I seem to forget that I have this blog at all, and a chance e-mail about a comment spurred me into remembering. Eh, whichever it is, here I be. :)

Ah, the holidays. Spending money, fighting with loved ones, and completely transforming your house and waistline. Gotta love 'em, right? There's also that all-important four week hiatus from school to look forward to.

And on that subject, guess what Audrey discovered just after getting her 'You're halfway through your degree! Come in and see us!' letter from SCC? it seems, boys and girls, that there are  two degrees, in order to confuse people. I signed up for Web Design, thinking (silly me) that I'd learn to  design websites. After relentless naysaying and complaining about the way the classes were being taught (mainstreamed for the  graphic designer), I decided to dig deeper into the seedy world of the college homepage.

They hid it under computer programming. It isn't called Web Design, either, it is 'Web Programming' or 'Programming for the Web' or some such nonesense. Funny thing, though - absolutely no Flash classes, which means perhaps i was lucky to stumble into the wrong degree. At least I can make my own graphics (in a very, very,  very tight pinch), which means after I learn all the cool XHTML, PERL, JAVAscript, PHP, MYSQL, and other such lovelies, I can call myself a Web- Master Ooh baby. Bad news is, none of my credits save for my general ed courses count towards my new degree. that's 12 out of 40 credit hours. Good thing I've got a scholarship I ignored for six years which expires either this May or next (the wording on those things is very tricky).

Wow. I haven't even started in on what i wanted to post about, and I've realized how incredibly long this is. See what happens when wannabe writers have too much homework and can't do something productive - like writing fan-fiction?

Update on Novely-thing: Squashed at the moment, and perhaps forevermore. I started jumping around a lot, and realized it was a really retarded idea for a plot, and the writing was strained. Which led me to the discovery that original ideas are not necessarily my thing.

Update on Television-Watching: I have now upped my weekly TV quota to four]. I'm on fire. Aside from NCIS, which is my Tuesday night staple, I've now become as addicted to House as he is to Vicodin. Did some shady things that I won't air out because I don't want feds to get me, but let's just say I have now seen every NCIS episode available. And working on House as well. Of course, I'll buy the DVD of the first season if my loving family doesn't present it to me for Christmas. I'm not holding my breath - i didn't tell anyone but my sister, and that was two days ago. Mom's had me done for ages, apparently (she likes to tell me that, but who knows?). Ah, but I digress. The other two shows, you ask? Cold Case (which is intriguing and good fun, but not necessarily one I cry if I miss), and.......Criminal Minds. If you only saw the first couple of eps, you're missing a pretty good show. It's not the greatest, but it is slightly interesting, and hey, Mandy Patinking is, and will forever be, my first obsession. It's a loyalty viewing. I think I was ten or eleven when I first wrote to him. Actually, he's the only actor I've ever written to. Might be because I got a generic letter with a stamped signature back. I felt kinda cheated, but then, I was ten. Gotta love the voice - and he's not too bad on the eyes, either. Goes back to my older men thing. House is that much more appealing because, c'mon, Hugh Laurie is beautiful. No way around it. I think I like him best all scruffy and such. *dreamy sigh*

I don't think I'll ever stop being a fan-girl. It's way too much fun, though I do tend to daydream a lot. One of these days, I'm going to daydream myself into the Pysch ward. Or a ditch along the road. Either way...

Back to the Holidays: I have one, count 'em, one gift purchased. And it was a fluke purchase, because I saw it and said: Oh my gosh. That is perfect. I wasn't even looking for gifts. I felt warm and fuzzy though.

Finally talked the hubby into buying a fake tree. I love fake trees for the following reasons: 1) Mine came pre-lit in all it's multi-colored godness. 2) They're much easier to put up than real trees. I swear, Hubby fights every year to get that sucker into the stand - and ends up cursing like a sailor. 'Course that's nothing new, but still - why go through all of that when they die in like, a week? Which brings me to 3)Fake trees last more than a week. Which means - Tree's up December 1st. Actually, got away with November whatever sunday was....just because that's when we bought it. Next year, it'll be banished until month twelve, for sure.

My cats are now the funny ones to watch. Never had a problem with the real tree, but for some reason, they want to eat the fake tree. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. On a side note, my Dad's mutli-hundred dollar cat, Lucy, has turned demon - she enjoys pouncing on my mom's nativity. It's hilarious, really. Back to my cats. Courage likes to sleep under it, right on the tree skirt. It's only been up a week, and I've had to launder it already. They like to hairball on it. Yuck. Severus, on the other hand, enjoys being Cat-Zilla among my lighted village. Not quite as evil as knocking over a manger scene, but it's right up there, right?

Now on to the reason I posted in the first place: I needed a break from my Flash homework, which is due tomorrow. I must finish it tonight, as it involves lots of animations and fun things such as that. Only problem: I've been sitting on this couch since nine o'clock this morning. That's officially twelve hours. And I didn't stray until lunchtime - I ate and watched an episode of House. Then I went back to the grindstone, and round about dinnertime, my laptop locked up, I lost a half-hours worth of work, and I made dinner. After dinner, i said screw it, and watched House whilst working on my homework. It's very difficult to work in Flash in only half of your screen space....

Right. I must away, before I fall asleep on my compy, miss my alarm and therefore don't leave early for the Mandatory Monday meetings at 7:30, and have to sneak Flash time at work or lunch to finish.


OOOH! One last thing - my younger brother's going to start working at my company in two weeks. Hurrah! 'Twill be fun and excitement, says I. And now, I shall let your tired (and probably bored to tears -ha!) eyes rest, and sign off. And school begins again on January 9, so if I haven't posted again by then, look for me in May.

Okay - don't expect back-to-back posts too often, now, but this has been weighing on my mind..

Is anybody ever truly happy with their life? Sure, we all have moments were we're having a good time, but that's all it is - a moment. I know for me, personally, I'm pretty sure that I'm destined to be a malcontent, never quite satisfied with where I am or what I have. Pretty bleak to think about.

I know I'm not alone in this kind of thinking, but is anybody really different? There are some, as my sister pointed out, who say 'My life sucks, let's move on'. I'm sure I'll get there eventually, but for now, I'm going to try and figure out what I need to do to change. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, but I'm sure I'll have something to talk about when I finally settle into my niche.

Depressing thoughts, I know...but hey, that's how I feel.

I just realized I haven't posted in a long, long, LONG time. So, here goes.

On the subject of masochistic dogs: the underground fence is now a moot point. We ended up having to build a pen for the dogs while we're away - they were just not getting the idea that we wanted them to stay out of the gardens.

On the subject of married life: Still same old, same old. Though I'm getting a lot more things accomplished by telling hubby dearest: Look, these are the options. We can do it all my way, all your way, or we can meet halfway. Seems to be working well...

On the subject of Writing: Fan-fiction has hit a slump at the moment, though I'm going strong (word count wise anyhoo) on an original novel type dealy. No hopes yet of seeing the end of it, and as I start school again on Monday, finishing it within a year seems doubtful.

On the subject of School: I got through Spring and Summer semesters with a 4.0. Go Me! Looking forward to this fall semester, which will include learning Macromedia Flash. WOOT! Of course, the drawback is I also have Illustrator 2. When will they realize that Web Designers aren't illustrators???? (Though my Photoshop 2 instructor complimented me on my Photoshop and Illustrator 1 stuff. Squeee)

On the subject of Life Goals: Finally got Hubby to see it my way regarding land amassment. 'Tis a glorious thing, Indeed. We now have a (very shaky, but doable) 5 year plan. Let's hope it works.

I think that's about it. I'll try not to wait another four months before I post a thought. Though it does sometimes take that long to have one....

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

-Benjamin Franklin

I've been thinking about this quote a lot since September 11th, and I'm not sure whether or not I agree yet. Think about it: our forefathers gave their lives to preserve our liberties, our freedom from unauthorized searches, etc., and now we're giving up some of those freedoms to feel safer.

But are we really safer? All this security at airports and theme parks, essentially everywhere we go - I know that it doesn't make me feel safer. To me, if someone wants to hurt us badly enough, it'll happen. But I'm not going to live my life in fear, waiting for them to do it, either. And since it seems I have no choice in giving up my freedom to carry a purse without having Disney security going through it everytime I visit, does that mean I don't deserve that freedom?

On another note, I've started an NCIS fic at FF.net. Just in case you're interested... Oh, and I'm out of school for two weeks. Woot!

Well, sooo much has happened in the past two weeks. First off, things have changed since my last post - Daisy and Moose got into my gardens and destroyed the flowers I hadn't planted yet (as Daisy likes the shock and Moose's was broken). SO, Daisy now has a stubborn-dog training collar, and it seems to be working fantabulously. It vibrates AND beeps. OOOOoohhhhhh.

The he-she cat has gone on to a better place as well. *sigh* My family's on the lookout for a new kitten now...

I'm going to get more rocks this weekend for my gardens! WOOT!

That's about it....

Okey dokey then. Not as much as I thought.....Happy Friday!

It's been an interesting week around here..first, I've learned my Golden Retriever Puppy is a masochist. We have that underground fence that beeps to tell dogs when they're getting too close, and gives 'em a quick shock when they're right on it....Well, Daisy finally got shocked - and she loved it. She'll stand right on top of the thing, with her whole neck shaking, and her tail will be wagging, or her leg will shake like you're scratching her 'special tummy spot'.

My mother called yesterday and told me the cat we'd had for 13 years had to be rushed to the Emergency vet. Penelope's fine, she told me, but the vet delivered a shock: Penelope was a boy cat, not a girl cat. Now, wouldn't you think one of the other vets we've taken her to over the years would have told us that by now?

Didn't have TOO much homework this weekend, but instead of working on my fics like a good webhostess, I gardened. And I got very, very, crispy. Tore all the junk out of my front garden beds, planted some new flowers, and laid down some river rock. 35 bags of it, to be exact. And we RAN OUT. We are now looking into getting a truckload of the stuff, as I've  yet to finish the front gardens, and I'd like to do the back gardens in it as well. Of course, as I have none left, I can't plant the flowers for my back garden - I don't want to lay down the black plastic stuff without something to hold it down....and who knows when I'll have a whole weekend to work on it again?

That's about it for excitement - though I did gouge my ankle this morning whilest struggling not to wake up. (With my other toenail, no less). And Moose (my Chocolate Lab Puppy) somehow managed to tear off his electric probe collar - and the clasp is busted. Maybe Daisy was hoping she'd get to wear them both....

Right. So, good news is, I got 3 new mailing list subscriptions in the last 3 days (with another pending) Woot! Bad news - now I feel obligated to update, and I still have no time! Mayhaps I shall steal work time - er, that is, LUNCH time - to do such web updates. I shall try my best.

It seems lots of people swing by here as well. Are my thoughts and senseless ramblings that interesting? It makes me feel warm and fuzzy, regardless..

Right. I like my classes, I really do. And these projects are very interesting. Photoshop is definitely more fun so far....Illustrator involves actually drawing things...not my strong point. I prefer to alter somebody else's images...

At any rate, the reason for my post is to rant yet again. I finally finished my Illustrator homework that we have to turn in on Wednesday. This is after working all day Saturday and all day Sunday, and all evening last night till 10:30. And I'm still not happy with how the last project turned out....as I mentioned, drawing isn't my strong suit.  Now I've just got Photoshop homework and my online class homework...then tomorrow I'll get more Illustrator homework.  IT NEVER ENDS!!!

On the up side, last week in Photoshop we learned how to airbrush shapes. That was pretty fun, though I didn't do so well at first...my sphere shows promise now, methinks, though my cylinder isn't really to my liking....

I think I'll stop accosting you all now and go back to work.... Happy Tuesday!